


Fresh Guacamole But The AI is Soft As Hell

by SlimeLime



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: (its mentioned), Domestic, Fluffy, Last two r just there at the end lol, M/M, benrey uses they them, soft, the ending is rushed! Sowwy, ummm the 3 of em r trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25857172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimeLime/pseuds/SlimeLime
Summary: Ppl on the HL discord im in were jokin abt Tommy eating non food items so have this!!!! Also Free Soda rights!
Relationships: Tommy Coolatta/Darnold/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Fresh Guacamole But The AI is Soft As Hell

Gordon yawned as he awoke. His arm was still under Darnold's body, but he managed to get out of the bed without waking him. He got dressed, taking care to not knock over any of beakers or soda cans scattered around the room. He decided he could wait to put on his prosthetic, checked on Joshua, and made his way to the kitchen. 

He immediately saw Tommy sitting at the table, typing away at his computer, idly scratching Sunkist's head. Gordon passed him with a hello, and got to starting his coffee, making sure to make enough so that Darnold could have some if he decided to.

"What'cha workin' on?" He asked sleepily, giving Tommy a peck on the cheek for good measure. Tommy blushed and returned the gesture before answering.

"Dar-Darnold asked me to help him record and, uh, with writing down some info for his new- the newest experiment, and it's- it's Testosterone Two," he said, and took a sip of his generic Soda. 

Gordon decided not to ask Tommy _why_ exactly Darnold needed Testosterone Two, mostly because he was the only one who actually took it. (Gordon's hormone therapy was... abnormal to say the least, but had been explained by there being a mixology department, and Tommy didn't even take regular testosterone, his transition supported by having basically a god as a father). And Darnold would probably enjoy the chance to explain. So he and Tommy sat in a comfortable silence for a while.

Until his stomach rumbled.

"Hey Tommy, any ideas for breakfast? I'm thinking waffles," he said, already getting out the waffle mix. 

"That sounds- that sounds good! But I was thinking may- maybe for me I'd have some, uh, chips and guacamole too?" Gordon scratched his head at that.

"Uh, I dunno if those are really breakfast, but you do you," he cracked the egg," wait, we don't have guacamole. Or like. Chips." They _had_ chips a day ago, but Benrey had come in and eaten them like a wild animal, saying they needed Dorito Shapes. Why they didn't _buy_ doritos, Gordon had no clue (though, thinking about it, they might not have money. Or a job.)

"Oh, don't worry Mr. Freeman! I found this- a recipe video and I got the stuff- the things I needed!" Tommy beamed at him. Gordon swore he could outshine the sun if he tried. He moved to the counter, standing next to Gordon, pulled out a cutting board, and a shopping bag. "Uh, I got grenades, but I promise they're not- they're not real."

And then, he pulled a grenade out of the bag.

Gordon flinched, but was thankful Tommy had given him the warning. He had been to therapy, and while he wasn't over anything fully, he felt... overall, less vulnerable. (Though he couldn't stay in the dark. Tommy and Darnold didn't mind his night light, which he was thankful of.) But then he considered what Tommy had said.

"That's for... guacamole???" He was, in a word, confused.

"Yep!" Tommy said cheerfully. Then pulled out his phone. And showed him the Fresh Guacamole short.

Gordon was stunned silent. Tommy was intelligent, he was aware, he was 36 for crying out loud. And he could be naive, but... what.

And just as Gordon was about to speak, Tommy cut into the toy grenade. 

Revealing an avocado like inside.

Oh yeah. Son of the man who was pretty much a God in this world. That tracks. 

So Gordon continued to prepare the waffle batter, and Tommy continued to bend reality to his will to make some guacamole. 

It was as the wafflemaker beeped and Gordon got ready to make the waffles that Darnold came into the kitchen. He was still sleepy, and pecked the two on the cheek before saying anything. 

"Good morning!" Tommy responded, finishing mixing his not-guacamole (though, considering everything done to the materials... who knows.) 

"Guacamole?" Darnold asked, jsut before yawning.

"Mhm, want some?"

"Don't mind if I do-" Darnold replied, before Tommy handed him a chip. A poker chip. "Uh... what."

"It's a lot bigger- uh, thicker than the normal chips, and I like the- the crunch of it. I dunno about the- thr flavor of it, but it's more about the guacamole flavor, right?" Tommy smiled innocently.

"I... yes? But I can't. Eat this. Physically." Darnold looked very, very lost. Gordon wished he could help.

"Well, I'm making waffles, if that's better?" Is what he came up with. And it worked fine, the three of them falling into an enjoyable silence, only broken by the crunching of (poker) chips. 

And then Benrey noclipped through the ceiling and next to Tommy. 

"Waugh!" Darnold yelped. Gordon had become... not accustomed, but more numb to Benrey's Weird Shit, so he just. Continued to make the waffles. 

He was able to finish just as Joshua woke up, meaning the entire household(plus Benrey) was here for breakfast. So he set out plates, gave everyone (including Benrey) their waffles, and set out syrup and butter. He could roll with it. 

Even when Benrey and Tommy started discussing the merits of Wood Chips vs. Poker Chips vs. Doritos.


End file.
